I Officially Discharged!!!

So it's official!! I am officially a civilian! Today I discharged from the army. Of course it wasn't without it's drama in true IDF fashion. But! In the end it happened and that's all that matters.
Last week on the last day of Nativ, I got the papers telling me that for today I go to the discharge unit. I got there bright and early but I couldn't discharge due to some new soldier technicalities of not knowing what to do. After about 6 and a half hours of sitting and playing Coin Dozer and calling different offices to see who can help me speed up the process(which was only supposed to take 15 minutes tops) I finally walked out of the discharge unit a civilian.
I have to say the idea scared me and made me nervous and excited but now that it's actually over I feel fine. Normal, actually relieved and less stressed. I feel like I get to start a new chapter. I can start new things. I know it's only the first few hours but it's not as scary as I thought it'd be. I have work and a place to live. I know I will be okay. I'm a lot luckier then most and I did well for myself.
Im excited to see how I turn out. I learned a lot. I can only hope to use what I learn. I wonder what adventures will be in store for me. I will keep posting on here about adjusting to civilian life as an actual Olah Hadesha. I'm no longer a Lone Soldier but now a new citizen in every aspect of the term. There are bound to be adventures.
I can now post about one incident that I haven't been allowed to because of the army. That I feel like putting in a different post tomorrow.
Have a great week everyone!!! <3 Thank you for sticking through my journey with me!

Course Nativ

So on February 9th I started Course Nativ. It was more of a signing up process. Stand in lines to where you will be. I ended up running into a commander of mine from basic training. She became an officer for   Nativ.
Nativ first off is pronounced Na TEEv.
It is a course for people who have been in the country less then 10 years or for people who are NOT Jewish. Once a week the course goes on a trip somewhere in the country. We close two weekends to see what it's like to observe Shabat. One with the course and the second with an orthodox family.
I have to say I was very reluctant to join Nativ because of all the stereotypes that follow it.
With that said I am very glad I joined because I met some great people and got to hear some amazing stories including a Lone Soldier who is in Golani and in a weird twist of irony lived 5 minutes away from me in NY and lives 5 minutes away from me here, in Ramat Gan.
As for the stereotypes, I don't think they are even stereotypes because of how true they hold. I was very upset to see they were true but I am making the best of it.
We finish the course on April 24th and then on the 29th I finally discharge from the army.
So far my plan is work work work work then in the summer take my first actual vacation. Not only as a free woman but as a person. My last vacation was with my family in like 1998 to New Hampshire. My "vacation" post I had lasted about 1 day before I got a job interview and then work. Every yom sidurim or mehuchedet I've had since then has been me working. Then when I finally get a vacation (which I filled up with a work schedule) I get so sick I cant eat or sleep. Yay.
Im deciding on whether or not to post the trip photos I have shot from all the trips we've taken.
I also can't wait because now I get to post things that I couldn't while in my service.
I'll hopefully post soon. I will definitely be posting my discharge. That you all better believe!!!
<3

Wow So ALOT Has Happened...

Alot has happened since I last posted.
I got a job.
It became 2012!!! Happy New Year!!! I still have the same New Year Resolutions as last year.
I went to a discharge course.
I started Course Nativ.
One roommate finished the army so we got a new one.
And I have been thinking nonstop about what to do with my future.
I also worked myself sick through Passover.

Lets see, where shall I start...
I got a job at the newest store in one of the Tel Aviv Malls. That's right. Forever 21 made its way to Israel! I have to say a full time job plus the army is VERY difficult.
I got the job during my what was supposed to be a vacation. Clearly I have a problem with sitting and relaxing. I really need to learn how to relax.
I spent my new year working. Everyday before that and every day after that.
I really hated on of the people in my building since I left because there was nothing I could do. I felt it was better to save myself from a GIANT and possibly violent break down. Seriously, who gives one girl an entire unit's Avtash? Now let me be the first to say I LOVE avtash but I am not about to do 2 months of day in day out guard duty for a bunch of baby's who don't want to miss one night of drinking, partying, and playing video games. No. Not me. I refused to be their fall girl anymore. I even told my commander that if she agreed with letting me go I wouldn't be showing up. I stayed quiet for too long and it back fired. I did what I was told and instead of getting respect in being a good soldier I got walked on so lazy pieces of shit could do what they want. SOOOOO done with them. So happy about it too.
Anyone who wants to join the army and is reading this- take my advice: CLOSED BASE!
Being on a closed base is honestly the best experience you can have. Being on an open base is like being stuck in an extra few years of school where you have no room for growing mentally and it just holds you back. You get stir crazy and it sucks.

End of February...
Well first off in the beginning of February I started Course Nativ. Yes it is fun...kind of.
Secondly, during the end of February we had a roommate situation.
One of our roommates finished the army and we had about 2 weeks to find a replacement.
It was very stressful. But in the end it worked out. We got a replacement. With that being said- it got me thinking. What do I want to do after the army? Do I want to leave right away? Do I want to stay? Do I want to travel? Should I just pay off the end of my contract? Should I find a replacement? It is all so very confusing.
Going back to America? I can't go back to how it was? Living with my mom? I just spent the past 3 years living by myself paying my own bills and making my own food. Isn't that like a step backward? How can I restart in America if I just went back steps?

Anyhow this very confusing and stressful problem piled onto work and the army took its toll and clobbered me. A little before Passover I started to get sick. I went to the doctor. She being the stupid piece of shit she is told me to see her after vacation even though I needed her immediately since the swolen glands in my neck hurt then and not 2 weeks from then.
I stupidly went to the Passover Sedar for Lone Soldiers. The Ramat Cal Benny Gantz AND thats right AND The Prime Minister Benyamin Netenyahu were there! I was lucky enough to see them. But aside from that I was just so dead. I felt horrible. I couldn't even finish the sedar. I couldn't eat at all. It just hurt so bad. I was cold and hot and just wanted to curl up in my blankets and sleep. My head was pounding. I spent the weekend in my bed. I missed everything. It was a horrible idea for me to go. After the sedar I went to the bikor rofe. Have I ever explained how much I hate them?
I got there at 10pm and didn't leave till 1am for them to tell me to drink water and take an advil............. ..... like.... where the hell did you get your medical degree from? bitch are you stupid? you are a doctor. you see I cant open my mouth that much or move my head dont fuckin give me advil! give me antibiotics! My GLANDS ARE SWOLAN YOU BLIND BAT! Advil is not gonna help. If it didn't help for the past week it sure aint gon help now! Jus sayin. The IDF needs new doctors.
So for my ENTIRE Passover break which ends tomorrow morning when I return to base I have been barely able to eat except for a few jello's and little sips of water. Thank you doctors for your wonderful doctor help and brains. I missed a week of work. You know vacations are fun if you can relax not actually be sick. That's not fun. So I get to go to base tomorrow and hopefully I get to see a doctor.

That's the end of my little rant. lol Everything from December 21,2011 to today April 14,2012 in a nutshell.
OH AND on Feb 15,2011 I was officially promoted to Sergeant (Samal) but of course thanks to Course Nativ I STILL cant put it on my uniform...I so went behind their backs and put it on

YAY!!! Vacation!!! :D

Im on vacation :D I don't have to go back into the army until January. I'm very excited. I haven't used my vacation days these past 2 years except for using my Special Vacation to go back to New York. Although this last time in NY did not feel like a vacation. So it's finally here. I finally get to rest. Friday and Saturday is just not enough.
I have been working so hard to try and prove myself and to try and sign keva or become an officer that I just didn't slow down at all. I've either been talking with my "family" about important issues since apparently I'm the middle ground OR I have been stressing myself constantly working. It feels as if though my only downtime has been the 3 hours a week I babysit. I babysit the cutest little girl. I love being with her and her family. They are such great and interesting people. It's also great to watch her and how she learns new things everyday. I also learn more hebrew from her and she learns to speak english from me.
I think we left off in the last blog with my next trip back to NY. Well I finish the army in April. I don't think I can sign on keva or become an officer. It sucks. It really does. I've worked so hard to try and prove myself and have been fighting for it since I enlisted. I guess I will try one or two more times and then I will officially throw in the towel. My end date is coming up quick. Im running out of time and fast. I know that I can say that I fought all the way to the end for it. I have met a lot of people. A lot of great people and a lot of shitty people. I have many great memories and I have helped some people along the way. Im really glad that this blog has reached so many people.
I don't think I will be using my last trip to America. I finish in April then I can't leave until a month after. So I wouldn't be able to leave until very end of May. Now it's time for me to start thinking about what to do afterwards. It's very hard to think about it. I'm not sure what to do or what I want to do. It's very confusing. I can go back to NY and try and start there. Which believe me I should have a blog for that. It would be readjusting to civilian plus readjusting back to New York. I would be able to work. If I stay here I can work and then try and go to school. See how long I can last. I know a lot of people miss me back in NY but when I was there it was like I didn't come at a good time for them. So they would want me to sit around and wait for them. That to me is insulting. If you missed me so much like you say you did then make time for me like I would for you. If someone I loved came here- army or not- I would make time for them. I would take off work and do whatever I could to make their stay here enjoyable and memorable. I learned I care a lot more about people then they do me. I constantly make the most common mistake ever. I expect things from people because it's something I expect from myself. Just because I hold myself highly doesn't mean I should hold everyone at the same standard. Everyone is different. I've also learned that just because you have the same blood doesn't make you family. I've also learned that just because you don't have the same blood doesn't make you any less of a family. Family is love and being there no matter what. I know who my family is now. I know what kind of people I want in my life. (I'm also trying to write this in the most sensitive way possible so people wont be insulted.)
Although I do need to start taking care of myself and putting myself at number 1. I keep putting people I love at number 1. I also need to be more open and I need to stop pushing new people away. I feel like a part of that is, I don't want to get hurt anymore. I don't want to make relationships just to have them thrown in my face. I guess because Im not sure of my future at the moment I have been being closed off a lot recently. It's hard. I'm learning.
I'm going to take this vacation as a learning experience. It's going to be time for me. Time for me to think and I guess kind of rediscover myself. I want to travel the country a little bit. See how that goes.
ALTHOUGH! Although if I do end up going to Course Nativ I would be traveling around the country as well anyway. It would be a great way to end my service. 3 months of just traveling around the country for free. I think that's pretty nifty. I don't know. We'll see.
There are still some friends I'd like to see. Maybe if I finally start hanging out with the people I really consider friends I can stop putting myself into such lonely positions. And maybe I will finally have the courage to say good bye to the convenient friendships that have been popping up just for the sake of saying I have a friend.
I am happy that I do have a new friend. She is the new soldier in my section. Im super glad because she is the first person in the army that has the same style and listens to the same music I do. Her name is Anna. She is such a sweetheart and a lot of fun. For the first time I actually felt like I could be normal in Israel and not just some Olah Hadesha from America. It's disgusting because there are so many people that want to use that and take advantage of it.
Well I have to go. Until next time. :)

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!
I know it was a week ago but I was waiting for photos that I can't get. :/

I didn't get off unfortunately BUT I did spend the morning in Jerusalem at an education base with my friend Tzvi. (Tzvi's Blog. He's a fellow lone soldier.) We had to go to a mandatory meeting for a course called Course Nativ(pronounced Na-teev)קורס נתיב.
The course is for soldiers that are new to the country and have been in Israel for less then 10 years. It is also the first step to the conversion process for the soldiers that aren't jewish and want to become jewish. It isn't a mandatory course but from what I hear it's a lot of fun.
There is a closed course that is about 7 weeks and an opened course that is about 3 months.
Each week there are one or two trips to different places in the country. Every day there are lessons on Israel.
The meeting finished surprisingly early. We thought it was going to be a few hours. It turned out that it was 15 minutes. Im honestly surprised that I even knew what was being said they were speaking so fast. Instead of the meeting being 830-1130 like we thought it was in and out. They were doing the meetings in waves. It was great. Tzvi and I decided that we didn't want to go back with a whole group of people and took a separate bus to Ben Yehuda. We walked around Ben Yehuda for a little before finally getting some breakfast and then took the new train system to the bus station where we went back to Tel Aviv.

Later on in the evening we met back up at a Thanksgiving Dinner for American Lone Soldiers held by The Michael Levine Lone Soldier Center. The Lone Soldier Center holds a Thanksgiving Dinner  every year for American Lone soldiers. Pictures can be found in the "Thanksgiving Dinner" link. I was surprised as to how many Lone Soldiers that weren't American that came. I honestly was kind of disheartened that they were using it as an excuse to get off base.
On a plus side it was GREAT to see all the Americans and meet some new people.
They had so much food and drinks and it was just a great time. They also had a football game(Greenbay Packers vs Lions?) on the big screen. It was being broadcasted live. It was so much fun. It was a little slice of home.

American holidays aren't really celebrated in Israel. People know it's a holiday but they won't really do anything about it. Halloween is celebrated by mostly the Club Scene but it isn't like home. Just like America doesn't celebrate other countries holidays; Other countries don't celebrate ours. The only celebration going on is the groups of American's that get together and celebrate our holidays. We keep our family traditions alive and make new ones. It is a lot of fun and makes things easier. It's great to feel that small piece of home.
I really have been feeling the need to go home and spend the holidays with my family but I can't. I was home in the summer to try and see my sick Aunt one last time. I only get one month a year to be home. I can either use it to work or to go home. I've been using my one month to go home. As of January 1st, 2012 I will be allowed to come back home. I'm going to save this part for another blog update. :)
I have some things I need to do. Although I really would love to come home. There is nothing like December in New York. It is one of the things I miss the most about home. The holiday spirit, colors, and cheer. It really pains me to hear and read all the religious discrimination going on during this time of year. I really hope that they can be put a side. It doesn't matter what religion you are, just enjoy the smells of cinnamon and freshly baked chocolate chip cookies and all the beautiful colors and warm drinks. You never know when you won't be able to experience it again.


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A Small Mini Blog Post

Hey so this isn't really an update. More just like a random blog post of a few sentences. I decided I'd blabber just to make it seem slightly longer and more important then it actually is. Its actually a request. I made a Facebook page for the blog. Due to the amount of emails, messages, and friend requests I decided to make a page for the blog. In the two days it has been up it got 50 followers. Granted those followers are from my Friend Invites. I would like to send the link for those of you on Facebook and to share it with you guys. Hopefully this will help get the blog to reach more people. I would be absolutely thrilled if you guys could take the time to "Like" the page and even maybe "Share" it on Facebook as well. I also have a twitter for my blog as well. I'm not sure if you guys knew this.
My blog's Facebook page and My blog on Twitter. My twitter doesn't really get much use except for small little updates about a singer I love called Porcelain Black. She is very awesome and so unique. Her music I consider to be perfect for me because it is rock n roll and pop mixed together. Something I love and have been looking for in artists for a while now. It was either play rock songs or play pop songs. Now I can do both at once and I love it. She's perfect.
An update on Israel- It is definitely not summer in Israel anymore. Once again it has become "winter". It has been cold, windy, and rainy. I am kinda loving it but at the same time I despise the cold. I need more winter clothes here. There might not be snow in central Israel but there is all the way up north at Mount Hermon where they have a ski slope. I am kind of hoping to go there this winter. I miss snow. Actually I miss everything about the fall/winter months. I never thought I would but I definitely do. I miss the colors and holidays of fall and the smells and lights of winter. I really miss Halloween. It sucked that I had to be on base for it and didn't get to dress up for it. I couldn't go out because of money. I didn't even have money to buy food. It sucks. The Israeli Army really doesn't pay enough for Lone Soldiers with a yomiot schedule. Yomiot is where you go to base every day. You don't sleep on base, you sleep at home in your own bed. In order to survive you have to pretty much be a hermit. You can't go out with your friends, you can't buy those fun foods like cookies or Bamba or a hamburger from the hamburger shop even though they only cost 20 shekels. Every shekel counts and goes towards rent, bills, and food. You can't live on a kibbutz because as a Lone Soldier you aren't allowed a car. If you have  a car you don't need help from the army. You pretty much can't do anything even if it means buying new clothes because your old ones are worn out. It really sucks and it's really difficult. Due to a new rule on base I can't even work. This sucks. Now I have to figure out how to get off base to go to work. I know my commander will help me. She's awesome. She also hates this new rule the Rasar put in effect for all soldiers. It's highly unfair and has a lot of soldiers upset. We have to be on base way earlier then we need to be and we can't leave even for work or a problem at home. Dude needs to lighten up. We are the only building on the entire base of Tel Hashomer that does this. Tel Hashomer is gigantic! You need a car just to get to the middle of the base. To get from one side of the other by foot could take about a half hour to an hour. So yeah only building out of a small city kind of sucks.
So right now what Im trying to do is figure out how to survive. The Lone Soldier Hostel is out of the question because I don't feel safe there. So I'd rather struggle and get in trouble for going to work then deal with this butt heads crap.

With my Facebook page I want to try and make a picture specifically for it, if you have any ideas let me know. :)
http://www.facebook.com/Fromnytoisrael- Facebook page. So please like and share my page. I would greatly appreciate it. Look through the photos and choose one for the page's main photo. :)

Thanks guys! Enjoy the page!

Back On Base

Hey Guys!!!
I actually have something to post for you. :)
I left off with needing to fly back to Israel.

So I get back to Israel after the wonderfully disastrous flight from the airline in aforementioned post. The airline managed in succeeding in screwing up two flights of luggage. They sent my flights luggage on another plane, and their luggage on mine. So yay! No clothes. No gifts. No nothing. Really incompetent people.
Anywho, I get back to my apartment and find some not so great things due to a particular roommate (That situation ended dramatically last night. Some people are just so pathetically stupid. Due to the army I can't write about it. Oh how I would LOVE to though; it'd make an excellent post.) Aside from that everything is fine and soon enough it is time to go back to base for the first time in a month and a half. To be on base was great! I loved seeing all the people I missed. I did end up getting my things from the airline a day later so I was able to give gifts to everyone. I really missed everyone. Including people I thought were dreadfully annoying.

After a few days my commander asked to talk to me in his office where he told me that I can't go to officers course. There wasn't much I can do at that point. He says no, it's no. I didn't let that get me down though. I was just happy to be back. I figured if I can't sign on more time or be an officer I'll make due with the time I had left. Make it memorable. About 2 weeks later he called me into his office again and asked if I wanted to sign on more time and I said yes. Yosi(my commander) said that he would move me into Tkzivim. I can sign time there. I never did a course nor do I have a job where you can sign on time but in Tkzivim, I have a chance at changing that. After about a month I finally changed to Tkzivim.
Because I am in Tkzivim that means I now have to be at the Keriya(Israeli Pentagon) a couple of times a month. It's kind of a pain in the butt with all the security but I really like this job. I finally have a reason to not take vacation everyday. Sure, I loved coming to base everyday and being in the Leshca and being known as the Secretary to the Unit Commander but in reality I finished my day at 1030am and had to stay there till 5 and I had nothing to do all day. I only had 3 days to learn everything which is not nearly enough. My predecessor had about a month to three months to learn everything. So I am completely learning by trial and error. I have to say it is frustrating but a lot of fun at the same time.

Yosi finished the army at the end of October. We had Succot Vacation which was about a week and when we came back it was his prisa(party). It was really sad to see him go. He was such an amazing commander who was loved by so many. He really helped me so much. I am so thankful to him. It was also really awesome and great to hear him mention my name in his "Going -Away" speech. I know that the new Unit Commander will do great. Im still helping out in the Leshca because the new kid needs help(still- can anyone say facepalm?).
 During the one week off I finally took a vacation for the first time. I honestly did not know what to do with myself. I saw my friends like Sam and Lauren who both just did Aliyah. Also in September I did a modeling shoot and I received the photos. So maybe thats what I will do. My next post I will have specifically for the shoots I did so everyone can see them.

Id have sooo much more to write if I wasn't told that I had to keep my mouth shut on it. I'm kind of liking this stuff and this new job.

Also I'd like to thank Nefesh B'Nefesh for the Rosh Hashana gift. I loved the Reeses and Neckwarmer.
I love gifts! Feel free to send them! lol jk

Check out Laurens blog right here on Blogger. It's called Liba Sipur. Enjoy it :) It's her story of doing Aliyah from USA. Completely different then mine with a totally different range of experiences.

Airline That I DESPISE!

So I first need to say how THANKFUL I am for getting a free plane ride back home and then back to Israel. I was able to see my family and talk to my Aunt for the last time before her passing.
I am very very very thankful to FIDF(Friends of the IDF) for giving one of their donated tickets to me.

Although I do have to say that the airline that they chose was ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE! They were so rude and inconsiderate. I wasn't even rude or in the way. They were just horrible to anyone that wasn't Russian or didn't speak Russian. There was seriously no point in flying from Israel to Russia to NY. No point. It was waaay more expensive then it needed to be. Then the IDF wonders why they don't have money. LEARN HOW TO FIND SALES!!! The IDF wants to save money yet they wasted so much on that ticket. They went for the worst seats at the most expensive price possible. I talked to other soldiers who used Transaero airlines and the only ones that had an okay flight was ONE BOY!. The rest despised it. All of their flights were delayed for ours. The flight was a pervert. You'd think it'd be fun to meet the pilot. Yeah...no.

Coming back from America was just as bad. The workers at JFK were just INFURIATED and I mean INFURIATED with them. The workers kept calling them idiots with no brains who need to start using common sense. They over charged so many people on luggage having charges coming out of the toes. There were at least 12 other fliers that I saw while waiting on line who ended up arguing with the same woman who apparently charged everyone for every little thing and then sending them in the wrong direction to pay baggage fees.

It was a disgrace. It is one airline I will make sure to stay clear of. The only good thing about the flight back to Israel was the Mini Haagendaz Ice Cream they gave out for desert. You can NEVER go wrong with Haaggendaz.

An Important Day for the IDF: The Return of Gilad Shalit

In 2006 Hamas captured Israeli soldier Gilad Shalit. Today at 6am, October 18,2011, he has been released.

1941 days he was held in captivity. He's back.
In exchange for Gilad, Netanyahu agreed to releasing 1027 convicted terrorists. All of whom have murdered Israelis.
The families of the victims have sent many failed petitions asking not let these terrorists go free.

This is Gilad with his new rank and in the arms of his father and Benjamin Netanyahu(Israel's Prime Minister).

Going to bed last night you could feel the difference in the air. It was filled with anticipation. We were all wondering what would happen. Would everything go as planned? Will he really be coming home? 

There was also fear. Now that 1027 convicted terrorists are free- what will happen? What will happen to these families? What will these terrorists do? Hamas said that they would return to their struggle. 

The only thing that can be done now is to wait. To wait and see what happens. How many will live? How many will die? Who will attack again? When will they attack again? We know, we feel it that they will attack again. They swore their lives to the destruction of Israel.

As happy as I am to know that Israel does not leave a soldier behind and that Gilad is home and safe- what will happen to us? Was the correct choice made?

I personally have mixed feelings because I don't know whats going to happen. Im happy he's safe- but what will the terrorists do?

Here are some websites covering Gilad:

His first interview on Egyption TV

The Guardian(UK website) full coverage and timeline of the past 5 years

The start of today

Now we wait and pray for the best.

(תודה אלדד) :)

Stolen Time... In A Way

Because of my Aunts death, my commander and the Israeli Consulate granted me an extra 2 weeks to be with family.

The Consulate was a story within itself. I had to get into the city and at the Consulate at around 8:40 am. I had to be there on Wednesday the 18th- the DAY of my flight back to Israel. My flight was 2:45 in the afternoon so I needed to finish quickly in case they say that I must go back to Israel. 

I get to the Consulate around 8:40 and the guard tells me I can't enter. I was pissed. I just walked from Penn to 42nd and 2nd street and I cant come in? I had to bring my bags with me from KP to the Consulate. It was hot and with all that walking and all those people, it wasn't what I wanted to hear. They refused to let me in because of my bags. It didn't matter that Im a soldier. Under no circumstance can I enter with anything but a purse. The guard who was dressed in street clothes just hanging next to a wall, told me to go to the hotel across the street. I get to the hotel and they tell me I cant leave my bags there for even an hour. Granted I didn't have a lot, it was just 3 small light weight duffel bags, one with wheels, it was still forbidden. The 3 duffel bags are easier then the giant suit case with wheels- go figure the irony in that. The hotel clerk sends to a luggage place on 36th street. I was soooooo not happy. PLUS I had to pay for the WHOLE day when it was only 3 hours. I had to go there via taxi because I couldn't walk that far and get to the Consulate on time. I get back and it was about 9:20am and after about an hour and a half maximum they tell me I can stay until August 31st. I needed proof, my ID's, and to write a letter explaining the situation. I got my confirmation and left to get my things. I decided to walk. It was so much easier to walk without the baggage. Literally and metaphorically. A weight had been in every way lifted off my shoulders.I got more time at home and possible time to be home for my aunts ceremony. She wanted a party not a funeral.

While walking to the place that held my luggage I called Transaero airlines and Ophir Tours to change my flight. The night before the airline told me to call the travel agency. When walking to get my luggage, I called Ophir tours endlessly. The branch I needed wouldn't answer so I got transfered to another branch who told me they cant help me because the branch I need is closed and my flight was in a few hours. They tell me to call the airline because they CAN help me. They are just too lazy to do so. So I call Transaero Airlines and explain the situation and after 10 minutes of arguing I finally got my flight switched. I had to pay $150 for switching the flight. I also got lost on the way to getting my luggage so that would explain why I had so much time on the phone. I learned that I should pay attention when walking. I finally got to the storage place and the lady working there started talking to me. She was an absolutely amazing woman. I am so thankful and grateful that I met her. I really feel as though I was meant to meet her. I talked with her until 130 when I started getting phone calls from my mom asking me where I was. I believe she was an angel. She gave me so much excellent advice and new insight. I feel truly blessed to have met her. I gave my my facebook link, blog link, and I think email so we could stay in touch. I really hope she writes a blog. She has so many amazing stories and such great advice. I will never ever forget her. Moments such as those could only be cherished and remembered. So if you read this, you know who you are- don't be shy!! 

It's Sunday night as I write this. I just finished playing a game of Apples to Apples with Denise's(Bonnie's Step-Mom) family. We are in a Lake House in Pennsylvania. It is such a gorgeous place in the Pocono Mountains. When I come back, it is back to reality and hopefully finding out more details on my Aunts Ceremony. I wouldn't be here having fun if it weren't for my aunt. But she could have been here. Alive. She's not. In a way it's stolen time because it could have been extra time for her with those she loved most.

My trip upstate(first weekend back home) and in Pennsylvania have been most needed. I have had so much fun. There is still so much that I want to do. So much food I want to eat and places I want to go. Im not going to waste this time. Im also hopefully going to be spending some time with Alina. My aunt loved her so much and it was easy to see. Even a blind person could see such pureness.

Within this first weekend of extra time I have met the nicest bunch of people ever. They were constantly asking about the Israeli Army and thanking me for my service. I didn't know what to say because I don't feel like I am doing anything. I can only hope that I can have a family like this one day. It was so heart warming to see a father play with his son and hear their laughs. Im not used to seeing things like that so I enjoyed it. It was so fun to watch the little boys play with each other using just their imaginations. As we get older, we forget that we have an imagination. We feel too silly using them. I think we should. This has been a vacation that I have needed so much. Something that I have needed for years. This is a weekend I will not forget and I hope that I never do. Every meal was home cooked. It was how a family should be. It was also really nice to not have to cook and clean for myself or order out food. Now Im not saying I just became a lazy bean and just let them do everything. No. They had to tell me not to clean or not to pay. But don't worry. I helped clean tonight's dinner.

This weekend, I got to watch the guys fish while watching the sun set on the lake. I got to speak with the women while cleaning and preparing dinner. Stereotypical I know, but so much fun. We all went to the pool which was just a blast. Bonnie and I laid out and tanned for a little bit. I only managed to get a shade maybe two darker. Maybe shade and a half. If I'm not wearing a bikini you cant tell. I still look so pale. I am very lucky though. I haven't burnt yet. Im grateful for that because I always always always burn. We have had two very entertaining thunderstorms and I saw a chipmunk on the front deck. It was cute. :P Unfortunately tomorrow morning/afternoon I leave. I am really going to miss everyone. Im gonna miss you guys! Thank you for being so welcoming!!! :) 

I will then have a little less then a week and a half for more adventures. I have a lot of book editing to do and lots and lots of thinking. Ill try and update soon once things get more settled. Its 11:15pm. It's time for bed I believe. I am the only one in the house not in my room or in bed. I wanted to update.

Aunt Marylou Blog Post

New York!!!

Sooo as you know, as a Lone Soldier, I am entitled to one month out of the year to fly back home and be with my family and friends back home. This time I have chosen to go back end of July to mid-August. I didn't really want to come back this time, I was having such a great fun time on base that I just didn't want to leave. As much as I miss Israel and my friends who in such a short time have become my family, Im glad I came home.

This time around the army paid for my flight. The Israel Defense Force pays for one round trip ticket to the city of your choice after a Lone Soldier finishes one full year of service. I had to go to the main Soldier Hostel in Tel Aviv where I found out that everyone knew my commander. Everyone loves Yosi. He is probably one of the best, most caring people I have ever met. The girl at the Soldier Hostel chose my flight for me. I had a layover in Moscow. I didn't really like that. It costed more money then doing a one way trip but Im not allowed to argue. Literally. I argued it. I didnt want to fly to Russia. If it was Germany or another country then okay but Im not a super dooper fan of Russia. No offense Russia, its cold and I wanted home fast. Germany is where my family is from so they get a free card. My flight was for 1250am and you have to get to the airport 3 hours early. Transaero airlines, the Russian airline, failed to notify all passengers that the flight had been delayed over 3 hours. I was pissed. I didnt get into the air until a little after 430 am. Not fun. I fell asleep on the floor for like an hour. It wasn't very comfortable. We get in the very small plane for 5 hours with the screaming baby for all 5 hours and then get to Russia. Dont like the people that much. They were very serious and not happy. The pilot was also kind of creepy when he was talking to me. They delayed the flight an hour when already on the plane. I slept for most of that flight.

I finally landed in NEW YORK!!!! in the afternoon and saw my sister waiting for me. It felt so great to finally see her. We got outside of JFK to her step mom's car and a Brooklyn Slice[of pizza] waiting for me. The pizza was great and so was the ride home. I finally got home to see my mom and dogs waiting for me. I missed them so much. About 2 days later my brother came home from his base. He is in the Marines Reserve so every few months he goes for some training. I spent the month with Bonnie(sis) and my brother Robert. We went to the movies and Splish Splash and to the mall. The mall was a few times and so was the movies. I got to see some other friends as well. I spent a night in Hotel Pennsylvania in the city with my friend Shiran when she came to New York. On August 8, I had the pleasure and honor of attending a cousin's(actually a family friend but shes like family) wedding. Karla finally married her husband Timmy after 8 years. I was so happy to be there. It was so much fun and just full of happiness.

On August 9th, after almost a decade of constant battles with Ovarian Cancer, my Aunt Marylou finally succumbed to horrible disease. I wrote about her in one of my first entries. I miss her terribly. She is usually who I go to for all photography questions and for random things of talking when I dont want advice or opinions. Just someone who listens and is understanding. I am definitely going to miss her. I visited her wife for the first time since I never met her before. It was weird, surreal even, to be in her house with her not there. Sometimes I would think she would walk in any second. I know she wont though. In a way Im glad. I know she is no longer in pain. She is no longer sick. She is in peace and happy. I know she is up there in Heaven. I feel better that she is no longer in pain.

I have been receiving a steady flow of messages and emails giving condolences and I would like to thank everyone for them. I am not the only one who lost an amazing person. Marylou was a strong vivacious woman who was always happy and laughing. She was very understanding and loving. The perfect friend for any situation. I am lucky to have her as an aunt and know that she was an angel to so many people. Aunt Marylou didnt like when people were uspet or down. She always wanted people happy and laughing. I know that she would want that more now then ever. So everyone smile at the thought of her. Dont be sad. Celebrate her life. It's what she would want.

Thank you :)

The Kaban. FINALLY!

So we left off with Avtash in May. Long time I know. But now I have many things for you to read. I came home from Avtash May 31st. I was supposed to go to the dentist but they canceled on me. So I ended up going on my birthday.

During Avtash I had a meeting with the kaban who said we had to reschedule. I got a meeting with the kaban that thursday since coming back from guard duty. I was lucky I had an appointment really early. I get to the building and sign in saying Im here for the kaban and they tell me to sit and wait. After about an hour of waiting they tell me that my specific kaban wont be coming in today. I showed them that I had an email from her saying I had a meeting but that did nothing. She wasn't coming in at all. Needless to say I was pissed. I have been doing everything this woman says. I went and did the impossible. I talked my way into an interview with the Unit Commander and Lieutenant Colonel and got his permission. Then I somehow managed to switch jobs and he became my commander. THEN I up and left for a TWO WEEK avtash that most people said was too long and that there had to be some mistake. I showed up to every meeting. Wrote all emails to the kaban showing my hebrew level. I did everything I could. When I did see her, I even spoke to her in hebrew. I wanted her to see, to hear how much I wanted to become an officer. And she couldn't even show up for one 20 minute meeting. How am I supposed to react in this situation? I was told that a kahas means Im an angry person. Not once did I lose my cool. I had fun at avtash where in 30 seconds of being on base, I saw girls start crying their eyes out because they had to sleep on base for 1 NIGHT. A NIGHT! Here I am already a week at Juara and I love the people there and they love me. Needless to say I was pissed. Im pouring my heart and soul into this and they don't care. I kept thinking something was wrong with me. That maybe I do get mad easily because it annoys me when people walk slow or dont use common sense or logic. Or sometimes when I play a video game I yell at it when I'm losing. Did this make me a bad person? Am I a bad person because I hate my roommate's best friend? Am I an angry person for getting disgusted with every guy that comes up to me telling me how beautiful and sexy I am and how I should be his girlfriend? You know, I dont think so. I think Im normal. I think I come from New York. I dont think that girls from New York like when a boy come up and ask to sleep with them. I dont think anyone likes that. So no. Nothing is wrong with me. Im fine. If anything I control my temper then most officers I see. I do better in situations then most people because I keep my cool. I can control my temper. I proved it over and over. I deserve everything Im working for.

I got back from the kabans building and went to my office. I told my commander who called the kaban and I sent her an email. She sent me a message and rescheduled a date. I felt better. I wasn't going to let this slip through my fingers. A few days later I get an email from her and she asked to reschedule again. I did. It was for the 12th. Before the 12th, Karin called the kaban where she told me some very valuable information that the kaban refused to tell me. She didn't think I was serious about this. But finally I got 2 ways of beating the kahas. Every 3 months I do 1 week of avtash and a meeting until I no longer have a kahas, or I can get a meeting with the head kaban and ask for it to be canceled. The first one takes well over a year to do and the second one is nearly impossible.

My birthday came and I got a tooth pulled and I got a week to not be at base. Sunday came. My meeting with the kaban scheduled for 830 am. I got there at 8 am knocked on her door and let her know I was there, she was with someone. Finally at around 1030 I get to see her. We talk. I told her that being on an open base was way harder and more stressful then being on an open base. We talked about my ENTIRE file. It hurt to know that things in my file weren't true. The kaban from Michve Alon failed to write things she said to me, things she asked me to do, and she didn't write things I said. Since when did I become a rebellious teenager? When was this even said? Sure I died my hair so many colors and smoked Marijuana, but I challenge you to find one person in Kings Park who hasn't even tried it or been in the same room as someone smoking it. I didn't deny and said I smoked it. I then asked if she wrote about telling me I needed to take some "all natural" pills to help calm me down. It was no where in my file. I was devastated. My file was false. No wonder why I had a kahas. Someone screwed with my file. Someone destroyed my not even started army career. I told the kaban everything. Everything about my family life and life in Israel. She then explained how I could get rid of the kahas. She requested a meeting with the head kaban to completely cancel out the kahas and told me that I need a new kaban since she was moving to a new area and job. After this meeting I went to the dentist and got another tooth pulled. I was soo late but a girl passed out so all the appointments were pushed back. After a half hour of waiting I got my tooth pulled and 3 days of no army but one intense head ache that I didn't get last time.

When I came back from my sick leave things were better. I was still wondering what was going on with my file. That thursday at the very end of the day, when I was cleaning with Steven, that we needed to discuss me becoming an officer. He told me he received a phone call from the head kaban. I said "Okay, when's my meeting?" My commander smiled at me and said I didn't need one because I don't have a kahas. I was in shock. I still to this day dont believe it. The only thing I could say was how impossible that was because I needed the meeting. He said I didn't and that wed talk about it. Well we still need to talk about it. I guess I'll talk about it with him the week I return from my trip in New York.

"Avtash" Hebrew for Jobniks on Really Long Guard Duty

Tal, Yana, Yael, Dor, Matan,Lihi, Orr, Becky, Nastia
 Avtash May 2011 and Chris the Neshakit.

So on May 15 the Kaban finally called and told me that I need to do Avtash for 2 weeks. Avtash is guard duty on a closed base. It can be anywhere from a day to a month. People who have a month are usually on Rituk which is a punishment for people on open bases. You get sent to a closed base for a certain amount of days.

The schedule is stressful for some people because it is 4 hours on and then it could be anywhere from 4 to 12 hours off. 

For people who have a Kahas, Avtash can be hell. The kaban uses Avtash to see how people with a kahas adjust to being in stressful situations and on a closed base. I got mixed reactions from people when they heard I had to do avtash. From officers, I got positive reactions with them telling me how much fun it is and how I'm gonna have a blast. There were negative reactions as well which made me nervous. People would tell me how its horrible and you'll just want to die. It frightened me because they weren't exaggerating and they kept saying how it was hell.

My commander told me I'd be going to a "gadna" base called Guara. It is a base up north by Zihkron Yakov. Anyone who knows me, knows I love Zihkron Yakov. Its truely a beautiful place filled with history. They also have a nice little pub there called The Hobbit. My Tolkien obsession gets the better half of me sometimes.

A gadna base is a base where they have high school students from all over the world come for a week to learn about the Israeli Army and see what its like to be in basic training.

When I got there I didn't really have to do anything because I needed to go to the shooting range to update my file. Every soldier must go to the range every 6 months. Thanks to Nisim the wonderful former commander, I didn't go in a year. He told me I didn't need to go because I was the neshakit. BULLSHIT!  So the second day I went with one of the gadna goups. I shot before them then left. The day after that I started my guard duty shifts. In the end, the officers were right. It was so much fun. Not once did I think "oh god Im in hell." It was great! The people on base were soo nice so much to the point that I would love to be on a closed base. The avtash group was just absolutely amazing. We all became close friends in such a short amount of time. It was exactly what I've been searching for in the army. We closed the weekend together and it was just fun. We all took pictures and had a blast.

Nastia and I on patrol at 3am.

My M-16. Couldn't go anywhere without it for 2 weeks.

Pictures are illegal by the way. ;) The second group wasn't exactly my favorite. They weren't even on guard yet and they were already crying. Literally. They really did not want to be there. When it finally did start, they wouldn't come on time or anything. It was horrible and just so hard. Thank god I had friends on the base.
The entire 2 weeks I was there I was without a phone. On May 5th I bought the brand new Blackberry Curve 9300. I somehow killed it when continuing the setup in email installation when I got to Guara. Not fun. Especially during the second week. I finished my guard duty on wednesday after I finished the first week and returned my gun to Tel Hashomer and then returned back to Guara for the 2nd week. It was nice I didn't have to do anything.
After the second weekend started on Thursday, after everyone had left, I got a call from my friend Karin who I work with at Tel Hashomer saying that the Kaban called and I only needed a week. By that time everyone had left so there was nothing I could do about leaving, nor was there anything I wanted to do about it. I chose to stay on base and leave on Sunday. If anything it would show how much I wanted this and could do it. I enjoyed being on a closed base. It was so much more relaxing. It certainly was alot more fun that I got switched into an officers room with 3 really great girls. We had a fridge and AC. It was awesome.
...There was also a momma cat and 3 adorable kittens... Of course I enjoyed that.
Finally when Sunday came around I was sad that I had to go but also thankful because I really needed to get my blackberry fixed. So my first stop was taking my Blackberry back to where it came from.
I didn't get my blackberry back until a week and a half later. A few days after my birthday. That part kind of sucked. I would have loved having my blackberry on my birthday.
Going back to the day I returned to base, I got a wonderful review and recommendation from the second in command officer of the base. I also had a great recommendation from my commander. Next all I had to do was talk to the kaban.


The Kaban is a post within its own. What a friggen story.

Passover Holiday 2011

Benny Gantz. The new head of the IDF

So passover was absolutely amazing. Probably the most fun I've had in a while. A very long time I should say. It was non stop laughter and just a really great time over all. I met all these new people that I can say are going to be friends for some time.

We met in Binyamina and took a bus to a hotel in Olga. It was absolutely amazing.

It was like Mickve Alon Reunion. Actually that's exactly what it was. 

I should probably tell you guys that this was only for Lone Soldiers on closed bases and combat positions. Im very thankful I got to go. I'm glad I switched to my new job or I never would have been able to go because I am on an open base with the only combat I have to do is make the Paper Shredder Machine Thingy that I forgot the name of work.

We all got separated into rooms and groups. I had the BEST roommate ever. Her name is Karen. She is also from NY. She was so much fun. We actually met up several times after the passover dinner. She is such a great person and Im really glad to know her and call her friend. 

I also had the best group ever. צוות 27/שולחן 13 כבוד!!

We all had to go into this giant room and sit down where Benny Gantz came and talked to us and surprised a Lone Soldier by having his parents stand behind him. Everyone started crying it was so moving. Photos were strictly prohibited during this even, so naturally Karen and I took photos. :P

After that it was free time or see a comedian who was funny. Then we had the passover sedar where they had raffles. Didn't win anything. Then it was free time until the next night at dinner. 

The free time was spent sleeping and hanging out with our group. I think we were the only group to spend out free time together. We had such an awesome "group commander". This was such a great 2 days. Im so going to remember it forever. After those 2 days I returned to base for half days everyday while everyone was on vacation.

Me, Adam(not in our group but a friend of mine, and Karen

Lior and I.

Me and my really awesome light up ball :P

The second passover dinner I went to my friend Shiran's house with her family. It was so much fun. I spent the entire night speaking hebrew. So I was really proud of myself. It was such a great passover over all.

I really need to go now. My bus is in 20 minutes and Im still in PJ's and I live on the 7th floor!!!

Well I Need To Update

Hey guys. Wow over a month. This is the perfect example of procrastination. Good news I have a list of things I want to talk about. You guys are lucky; I now have a few things to write about that happened to me this past month like turning 21! woo yay me!
I still need to write about Passover and then it will be more about the Kaban and the things I had to do and the things that happened after I finished them. Also an update on my birthday. The US of A's favorite age. I also have a Blackberry. Can I just say I have some stories for that too. I also want to write a shout out to someone in one of the upcoming blogs that totally helped me.

From http://www.damnlol.com

Anywho I was on Damn! LOL (really hysterical website) and saw this picture. In a way it kinda made me mad. If you guys think back a few posts I wrote a blog about skinny people. Well people always always  
complain about how everything is photoshopped and people dont look real anymore. I would just like to point out that this comparison of these two women are completely unfair. The photo on the left is NOT photoshopped while the one on the right is. Thats not a fair comparison because the model Eva Herzigova is in fact anorexic and older then Tara Laughton who clearly does not have a problem in eating, she is also not a size 12 she is in fact bigger. She is a size 14/16. That is almost "10" sizes bigger numerically and 7/8 sizes bigger on the even scale. Both have different body types and styles. Another thing I think is crucial to point out is the lighting in both of the pictures. Lighting is everything. The lighting on Eva is hitting her at a weird angle casting off shadows making her look skinnier then she is. Really study the photograph and you'll see she isn't abnormally skinny at all. Tara's lighting has been evened out so there are no shadows. This is done with multiple lights at different angles(not to mention the photoshop that can be seen). One photograph is natural light and thats it while the other are studio lights at multiple angles. That changes everything.

I am a size 3 or 4 depending on the jeans and I can say I don't look like Im skin and bones and that I have some "extra flab" as everyone likes to put it.
I think people should start eating correctly and taking care of themselves and stop paying attention to someone else's idea of beauty. Also this whole escapade with Barbie dolls, I happen to like my Barbie Dolls skinny. They are easier to hold when playing with them. Child hands cant hold on to a replica of what women from the MOST OBESE country world look like. Also you GAIN weight as you get older. Its natural and perfectly fine, normal, and healthy. Embrace it. BUT I think its absolutely ridiculous that its okay for someone who's job is to be a face for people not take care of themselves. Yeah its great to eat what you want and that cake but people need to realize they have a job to do. They cant show laziness when trying to be the image and role model for people. Its not right. It's making people think it's okay to NOT take care of themselves. The trick is to eat multiple small proportioned meals throughout the day as well as exercise. Just take care of yourselves people. Everyone has different body frames. Constantly dieting will only throw your metabolism off and make it harder to LOSE weight. The small amounts of exercising will help make your metabolism faster. Slowly but surely.
I want to go watch Fast & Furious 5 so Im goin to the movie theater now. Peace Out my Lovelies.

Corporal Stripes

On March 4,2011, I officially became a corporal. Corporal in hebrew is Rabat. רב“ט

I received the stripes a few days earlier but I didn't put them on officially until March 4th to make my commander(at the time) happy. He insisted I wasn't a corporal but I had the papers to prove it. 10 months in the army is corporal.

It feels kinda cool to show my ranking on my uniform. Ranks in hebrew is Dragot. דרגות

I finally got a picture. :)

I decided I didn't want to put my rankings on until I got Sergeant which is Samal. סמל  It's something that the combat soldiers do. I wanted to do it that way. 

For Passover(in hebrew Pesach פסח), the holiday we celebrate Moses liberating us from Ancient Egypt, I was told i needed to put my ranks on because we had an office check and I celebrated Passover at a special sedar for Lone Soldiers. The sedar will be the next blog. :)

Corporal Stripes
PC: Karen

Okay so the 2 blue stripes underneath my unit tag are my Corporal Stripes. This photo was taken by a great new friend of mine named Karen. We are in our hotel room at the Lone Soldier Passover Sedar.

Nahal PicBadge Creation

I made this PicBadge on facebook and I decided to share it with everyone and hopefully gain some supporters so more people can use it and see it.

Nahal is a great and an important unit in the history of Israel.

They helped set up many settlements and kibbutzes in Israel giving many many many people a place to live. Alot of their soldiers are Lone Soldiers like myself who come from all over the world. 

They are also the first Infantry Unit to allow women to be combat soldiers. This brigade or section of Nahal is called Karakal. The Karakal girls have my respect. I wish I could be in Karakal. I admire them so much. I love what they are doing for Israel and what they represent to women and girls all over the world.

Nahal soldiers have been the nicest and most interesting soldiers I have ever met. They aren't into themselves and mean and overstepping their unit pride. Im not saying that every single soldier from the other infantry units(Golani, Givati) are like this but the other units are known for being stuck up and so into themselves for being the "best". 

Nahal is the youngest brigade out of the 3 main brigades in Israel which is probably why they are the under dog in this little contest.

I am proud to wear my green beret and I love seeing other soldiers who have the green beret.
My facebook photo looks like this:

I think I might make more of my photos like this. I feel this is a really great way to show my respect and support for my favorite Infantry Unit in Israel. I love my green beret.

Not Every Skinny Person has a Disorder.

I read this article about Megan Fox's weight and it struck quite a nerve with me that has been annoying me for years now. I wrote a note about it on Facebook, so now I feel like posting it up on here. I know my blog is mainly about the army but sometimes I don't have much to say. I did also mention my blog is about my life in general and in Israel. I don't see why I shouldn't touch upon some other subjects. I happen to think that this might be a good subject to talk about. For years I have been bullied about my weight. No, Im not fat or overweight so I know it seems shocking that I would be getting hit with the weight attack. People are so obsessed with looking good that they will attack anyone to feel better about themselves. I stopped going to beaches and public pools because of constant remarks about how Im anorexic which is just bull. My body type is skinny.
At first I ignored it but constantly hearing the remarks and seeing the mean looks I get from people bigger then me made me feel super self conscious. I HATE going out to the beach/pool with people bigger then me. I hate when they look at me with that "look". It's the "look" I can't explain but you know it when you see it. Jealousy. Envy. Hatred.
The media has blurred peoples images of what humans should look like. The last article proves it whole heartedly. People think normalcy is to be fat. Normalcy should be healthy. What you are comfortable as. Not what the TV wants. It's what you want.
Here is my article as well as the two linked articles.
The first photo was february 2010. The second June 2008.

Just Because I'm Skinny Doesn't Mean I have an Eating Disorder.

by Me on Thursday, March 24, 2011 at 10:20pm

http://www.popeater.com/2011/03/07/megan-fox-weight-thin-skinny/

I read this article and I agree. This article is about Megan Fox and her weight. 

People are so desperate to be skinny and caught up in this "Skinny Fad" that their ignorance and jealousy consumes them. Just because you see a skinny girl doesn't mean this person has an eating disorder. The bullying to skinny people is just as bad as people who are overweight. There are problems on both sides. One common problem that can cause a fast or slow metabolism is your Thyroid. Yeah, your thyroid. I bet you didn't think of that. I bet you didn't even know you had one. Your body pretty much revolves around that gland in your neck. It controls just about everything.

I know from personal experience that people just assume Im anorexic or bulimic. I hate when people talk about my weight. I absolutely hate it. I get it, Im skinny. Thank you for noticing. No Im not anorexic or bulimic. Anemic yes, but no eating disorders. 

I try to eat right and exercise as much as I can. But I do it the RIGHT way. Yes there is a right way.

Why is that people only notice that Im skinny. I do know that people happen to think that Im a size 0 or something but I'm not. I'm actually bigger. I know its shocking to understand but I am. 

I think instead being so caught up in diets and fads and caring about looks people should actually learn about their body. The human body. Every single body is different. Metabolism all depends on your body and genetics.

I know that I'm lucky. I have a healthy body, but I work hard for it. Not to be skinny but to be healthy. I know people have gone crazy telling me to go to doctors and get checked out and while Im at it, go get some therapy for my "disorder". It's just total bull. Really. I hate it. You people don't know anything about me or these celebrities you see on tv. But thats just it. You see them, you don't know them. It doesnt matter. You will believe what you want in the end.

To appease everyone I did go to my doctor. I dont have a disorder. In fact he told me that my body type is skinny. Very skinny. The same type of body type my mother has. Im 20 and a size smaller then her. Shes in her early 50's and a size 4. A size 4 for her looks like she a has meat on her bones. When we talked to my doctor when I was a size 0 he told me that I could lost a little more weight and still be in a perfect weight category for my body type. Im tall and thin. I stick to the right foods. I was brought up on the right foods. I take care of myself. That doesn't mean I have an eating disorder.

The bullying and comments I get are just so mean, cruel, and ignorant and I just think it's so stupid. Some people are naturally skinny.

Being "skinny" isn't a "fad", it's a body type. There are tons of body types out there.

When I was at Tel Aviv University- I was sitting with 2 of my room mates and we decided to tell each other what our first impressions of each other were, when we saw our facebook profiles before we met. One of the girls told me she thought I was going to be fat because my arms look like they are jiggly and have fat on them.

That statement says alot about where her mind is. She isn't a mean horrible person. But she focuses on looks rather then what a possible personality might be. It wasn't "I thought you were going to be a bitch." or "You look like you're super nice." Through out my time of living with her I noticed she was look and weight obsessed. She was constantly on diets. Telling me the food I was eating was going to make me fat. That doesn't make you a bad person at all. But we have different bodies. I know what I can and can't eat.

If I want to eat Ravioli Alfredo then I will. I will also eat that hamburger thats 500 calories and drink that soda. I will eat it and I will love it. So yeah. No eating disorder. Im fine. Annoyed by the constant pressures of what people should look like and the constant criticizing of my weight- hell yeah. Im not perfect. I don't have the perfect body. There are things I would like to change but I cant. I don't criticize everyone I see about their weight or their looks because I don't know their bodies. Hell I might not even know the person. Its not my place to judge and neither is it yours. You dont know me and I dont know you. So just SHUT THE FUCK UP! Im skinny get used to it.

I look skinny, but my arms dont.

Prom 2008

See the body changes.

http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/24/overweight-moms-children/?ncid=webmail
Everyone should read this.

1 YEAR of My Blog! Year summary!

Happy Birthday Blog!!! <3 :D


SO, one year of My Life In Israel! This is honestly amazing! I didn't think Id get this far let alone 65 posts!.
This past year has been very up and downy. Mostly downy but those up moments made it one of the best years ever.
The down moments made the year worth while for everything I've learned.
To sum up the year(and a half) I left my family, friends, dogs, everything I know for a year at Tel Aviv University. Sometimes I feel as though I left for Israel for someone rather then myself. You know, maybe a part of me did but I don't think I regret it.
The start of May is why the blog started and it was the army. Israel Defense Forces. It has definitely been one of the most trying and hardest parts of my life. I've been homeless and helpless and then got the worst heartbreak of my entire life to add on top of it all. At times I felt so worthless and like such a failure. I was constantly asking myself "Why am I even here?" "Why would I put myself through this? How could I have to this country and join the army only to be alone?" "Wow, I really fucked myself over more ways then one."
Then there were times where I just felt so happy and so amazing. My questions would be the exact opposite.
I learned quite alot I must say.
As hard as it is to believe everyone all over the world are the same. We all talk about how different we are but we aren't we are all the same (in good and bad ways). There is still good left in the world and I am so grateful for that. Humans can be so cruel for no reason but we can also be so kind and loving.
I've definitely learned that I am alot stronger then I look and feel. I know now that I can take what ever is given to me just as well I can give it. I need to be more stern and be more of a taker rather then constantly giving.
In short, I need to accept me and be me. I can't keep worrying about what other people think of me.
I worked hard to where I am at. I can't let them get me down. It's true I don't know why I'm here, what my purpose is, and what I'm doing but who does? I just need to take it slow. Each day at a time. It's the best way to learn.
I started off as just some american dating an Israeli to a Corporal in the Israeli Army. I need to post photos of that. Which I will buhhlieeeeeve me I will.
I went from studying and living in a dorm room to being homeless to now having my own apartment. (I've also learned that I would much rather live alone then with people. So I'm thinking of what I should do in the future now)
I've also learned how to survive heartbreak alone with out friends or family to help you through it. To be honest that was the hardest thing ever. Sometimes it still is. But I know that I'm not the same person I was when I started. I don't need him to survive. I've proven to myself that I don't need anyone but me. Sure it feels great to know you're not alone, but you can't always count on someone else. You need to learn to be happy with you first.
As much as I miss having that special someone maybe it's better that I don't. I can't survive depending on others.
The army has been crazy and challenging in all aspects of the word. From emotional to physical to psychological to wallet wise.
I like that everyone got to see and read about it. I don't have it as bad as other people. Im really lucky.  I may be alone but I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, a place to sleep, and friends in this country and I know that I did it all by myself. I'm a surviver and a fighter. I proved that and will continue to keep proving it for as long as I have to.
I went from Basic training to working in the armory to now be a secretary to the L.C. of the Education unit. I also found out that he has ALOT to do with Michve Alon and Lone Soldiers. I am VERY lucky to have him as my commander.
I love the new job I have. I am so much more happier now. I have more friends and I look forward to being there everyday. I love the people Im with. Everyone is telling me how much happier I look and how much better it is for me here and you know what they are right.
I'm really sick right now which is why I didn't post yesterday on the actual 1 year date. I was in the horrid bikur rofe with a non-english speaking doctor who couldn't hear me when I speak because of how sick I am. I also left base early. I didn't leave because I wanted to. I left because they told me to go. That is how much I love being on base now. I stay later then I need too and I do things I don't need to do. I genuinely enjoy being there. I don't want it to end. I can only wait and see what will happen in August when everything changes. I guess that will be quite an update as well.
So the next blog should be photos of my Rabat/Corporal stripes or I don't know what.
You'll find out soon.
Thanks for reading and sticking it out with me! <3