YAY!!! Vacation!!! :D

Im on vacation :D I don't have to go back into the army until January. I'm very excited. I haven't used my vacation days these past 2 years except for using my Special Vacation to go back to New York. Although this last time in NY did not feel like a vacation. So it's finally here. I finally get to rest. Friday and Saturday is just not enough.
I have been working so hard to try and prove myself and to try and sign keva or become an officer that I just didn't slow down at all. I've either been talking with my "family" about important issues since apparently I'm the middle ground OR I have been stressing myself constantly working. It feels as if though my only downtime has been the 3 hours a week I babysit. I babysit the cutest little girl. I love being with her and her family. They are such great and interesting people. It's also great to watch her and how she learns new things everyday. I also learn more hebrew from her and she learns to speak english from me.
I think we left off in the last blog with my next trip back to NY. Well I finish the army in April. I don't think I can sign on keva or become an officer. It sucks. It really does. I've worked so hard to try and prove myself and have been fighting for it since I enlisted. I guess I will try one or two more times and then I will officially throw in the towel. My end date is coming up quick. Im running out of time and fast. I know that I can say that I fought all the way to the end for it. I have met a lot of people. A lot of great people and a lot of shitty people. I have many great memories and I have helped some people along the way. Im really glad that this blog has reached so many people.
I don't think I will be using my last trip to America. I finish in April then I can't leave until a month after. So I wouldn't be able to leave until very end of May. Now it's time for me to start thinking about what to do afterwards. It's very hard to think about it. I'm not sure what to do or what I want to do. It's very confusing. I can go back to NY and try and start there. Which believe me I should have a blog for that. It would be readjusting to civilian plus readjusting back to New York. I would be able to work. If I stay here I can work and then try and go to school. See how long I can last. I know a lot of people miss me back in NY but when I was there it was like I didn't come at a good time for them. So they would want me to sit around and wait for them. That to me is insulting. If you missed me so much like you say you did then make time for me like I would for you. If someone I loved came here- army or not- I would make time for them. I would take off work and do whatever I could to make their stay here enjoyable and memorable. I learned I care a lot more about people then they do me. I constantly make the most common mistake ever. I expect things from people because it's something I expect from myself. Just because I hold myself highly doesn't mean I should hold everyone at the same standard. Everyone is different. I've also learned that just because you have the same blood doesn't make you family. I've also learned that just because you don't have the same blood doesn't make you any less of a family. Family is love and being there no matter what. I know who my family is now. I know what kind of people I want in my life. (I'm also trying to write this in the most sensitive way possible so people wont be insulted.)
Although I do need to start taking care of myself and putting myself at number 1. I keep putting people I love at number 1. I also need to be more open and I need to stop pushing new people away. I feel like a part of that is, I don't want to get hurt anymore. I don't want to make relationships just to have them thrown in my face. I guess because Im not sure of my future at the moment I have been being closed off a lot recently. It's hard. I'm learning.
I'm going to take this vacation as a learning experience. It's going to be time for me. Time for me to think and I guess kind of rediscover myself. I want to travel the country a little bit. See how that goes.
ALTHOUGH! Although if I do end up going to Course Nativ I would be traveling around the country as well anyway. It would be a great way to end my service. 3 months of just traveling around the country for free. I think that's pretty nifty. I don't know. We'll see.
There are still some friends I'd like to see. Maybe if I finally start hanging out with the people I really consider friends I can stop putting myself into such lonely positions. And maybe I will finally have the courage to say good bye to the convenient friendships that have been popping up just for the sake of saying I have a friend.
I am happy that I do have a new friend. She is the new soldier in my section. Im super glad because she is the first person in the army that has the same style and listens to the same music I do. Her name is Anna. She is such a sweetheart and a lot of fun. For the first time I actually felt like I could be normal in Israel and not just some Olah Hadesha from America. It's disgusting because there are so many people that want to use that and take advantage of it.
Well I have to go. Until next time. :)

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!
I know it was a week ago but I was waiting for photos that I can't get. :/

I didn't get off unfortunately BUT I did spend the morning in Jerusalem at an education base with my friend Tzvi. (Tzvi's Blog. He's a fellow lone soldier.) We had to go to a mandatory meeting for a course called Course Nativ(pronounced Na-teev)קורס נתיב.
The course is for soldiers that are new to the country and have been in Israel for less then 10 years. It is also the first step to the conversion process for the soldiers that aren't jewish and want to become jewish. It isn't a mandatory course but from what I hear it's a lot of fun.
There is a closed course that is about 7 weeks and an opened course that is about 3 months.
Each week there are one or two trips to different places in the country. Every day there are lessons on Israel.
The meeting finished surprisingly early. We thought it was going to be a few hours. It turned out that it was 15 minutes. Im honestly surprised that I even knew what was being said they were speaking so fast. Instead of the meeting being 830-1130 like we thought it was in and out. They were doing the meetings in waves. It was great. Tzvi and I decided that we didn't want to go back with a whole group of people and took a separate bus to Ben Yehuda. We walked around Ben Yehuda for a little before finally getting some breakfast and then took the new train system to the bus station where we went back to Tel Aviv.

Later on in the evening we met back up at a Thanksgiving Dinner for American Lone Soldiers held by The Michael Levine Lone Soldier Center. The Lone Soldier Center holds a Thanksgiving Dinner  every year for American Lone soldiers. Pictures can be found in the "Thanksgiving Dinner" link. I was surprised as to how many Lone Soldiers that weren't American that came. I honestly was kind of disheartened that they were using it as an excuse to get off base.
On a plus side it was GREAT to see all the Americans and meet some new people.
They had so much food and drinks and it was just a great time. They also had a football game(Greenbay Packers vs Lions?) on the big screen. It was being broadcasted live. It was so much fun. It was a little slice of home.

American holidays aren't really celebrated in Israel. People know it's a holiday but they won't really do anything about it. Halloween is celebrated by mostly the Club Scene but it isn't like home. Just like America doesn't celebrate other countries holidays; Other countries don't celebrate ours. The only celebration going on is the groups of American's that get together and celebrate our holidays. We keep our family traditions alive and make new ones. It is a lot of fun and makes things easier. It's great to feel that small piece of home.
I really have been feeling the need to go home and spend the holidays with my family but I can't. I was home in the summer to try and see my sick Aunt one last time. I only get one month a year to be home. I can either use it to work or to go home. I've been using my one month to go home. As of January 1st, 2012 I will be allowed to come back home. I'm going to save this part for another blog update. :)
I have some things I need to do. Although I really would love to come home. There is nothing like December in New York. It is one of the things I miss the most about home. The holiday spirit, colors, and cheer. It really pains me to hear and read all the religious discrimination going on during this time of year. I really hope that they can be put a side. It doesn't matter what religion you are, just enjoy the smells of cinnamon and freshly baked chocolate chip cookies and all the beautiful colors and warm drinks. You never know when you won't be able to experience it again.


Tweet