Excuse Me Dear (Revised)

Excuse me Dear
Im sorry
Please forgive me for what I've done.

It was so great.
So rich. So tasty.
The dark creamy texture.
The light brown foam creating swirls with each sip.
I could feel the electricity flowing within my veins,
I felt so Alive.

I drank all of your coffee.
Such a sweet delightful smell.
So mouth watering. I've got none left.
You've got to get more.
Im so sorry I forgot.
Such a delicious mistake.
But I couldn't go to the store.

So this was the revised Excuse Me Dear. Its a little different. What do you think?

Excuse Me Dear

in response to This Is Just To Say by William Carlos Williams:

Excuse me dear
Im sorry
Please forgive me for what I've done.

It was so great
So tasty
I felt alive

I drank all your coffee
I've got none left
You've got to get more
Im sorry I forgot
But I could'nt go to the store.

One of our class assignments was reading a poem and that writing a poem inspired from it. This was the first inspired poem. I did two.

I also revised this one for my midterm. I added more and hopefully made it somewhat more interesting and better.